My parents are as old school as they come with regard to ignoring health-related vices. My mom’s under-my-breath nickname is "Sugarsunbeef" because nothing harmful seems to faze her; as a kid she used to split a bag of candy every night with her brothers and sisters. As a young adult I followed in her footsteps with a bad candy habit. I still have relapses, but at 40 years of age I view sugar as a gateway to glaucoma, diabetes, and worse.
For this reason, concoctions like S’mores give me the heebie-jeebies; I just can’t imagine slapping my innards with yet another rush of near pure sugar.
But it’s for this reason I’m giving Gamer Grub S’mores a try. I could have tried pizza, BBQ or PB&J, but I’ll start out with my least favorite flavor. I’ll also give it a try after 4 hours of sleep and a 9-hour work day to test out the bag’s mention of neurotransmitters, which are listed in the ingredients under "Proprietary Cognitive Blend" – L-glutamic acid and choline.
The bag looks appealing. True, it looks a little indie, but that’s a plus. The layout is cool and the bag makes the S’mores look like some sort of interplanetary snack. Even the underside is marked with high-tech vents to blend into a gamer’s den. More importantly, there’s a notice saying that a percentage of profits is donated to safe electronic recycling. It’s snacking with a social conscience!
But I’m wondering if I’m going to use it all up in one sitting. On Amazon a 3 1/4 ounce (roughly 1/5th pound) bag goes for $5 with or without shipping, making retail around $25 a pound. YIkes! Will it even last a single gaming session?
So what does the bag say? This version of Gamer Grub features a "sweet and rich blend of smores bites, marshmallow chips, graham bites, and ‘chocolate gems’" (which are listed as imitation chocolate in the ingredients). I wonder if they’ll be emerald cuts or cabochons… 🙂
Using the tear ‘n tilt technology of the bag (an amusing gimmick, but viable delivery method for staying grease-free between the action), I’m going through a half hour of gaming, playing Gemcraft: Labyrinth with everything but Shadow Clash turned on. Here goes!
First Taste & "Neurotransmitters" Check
When I get really tired, my reflexes get shot and I may as well be typing with fishing weights on my fingertips. That’s about how I feel getting into this assessment.
Opening the bag yields no visible dust, and there’s a powdery chocolate smell. So far, so good.
Becoming a snack Luddite for a moment, I slide the food out of the container for a peek. I don’t feel much grease, if any. Even though I’m supposed to be outsourcing to the high tech delivery system, the food looks fine in room light. It does look carefully designed, but now that I’ve checked it out I don’t mind never looking at it again while I eat it.
The first salvo of Gamer Grub is a mix of robust chocolate flavor and what seems for a moment to be malted milk. The "chocolate" is just great; I’m expecting some wimpy synthetic flavor, but Gamer Grub delivers in that area. It all dissolves pretty easily after a few chomps. This merits a second helping. Yum!
I am getting a nice sugar rush, though I’m getting stomped pretty easily because I’m still tired. Still, the Grub perks me up a bit. A little of it’s powdered up on one back tooth, but it’s no biggie; just a little something to keep a carb flow going. In closing the bag again, I try a grahamy nugget. Fresh!
I coast for a bit, playing all the while. About 8 minutes later I start jonesing for a second helping because of the mild aftertaste of sugar burnout, something that comes with pretty much anything sugary. It’s not quite as exciting as the first handful, but almost, and still satisfying.
After the first 10 minutes I get enjoyably lost in about 20 minutes of gaming, and I help myself to a third handful. The nutritional info suggests I’ve had 22g of sugar and 90 mg of sodium. Not record-breakers by any means, but I’ve had far worse and appreciate the lesser wear and tear. For having worked most of the day and almost fallen asleep earlier, I feel pretty alert, and for the first time I clear field G13 with all the super challenges on (extra armor, giants only, +20 waves, 10x hp, you name it). Even when I’m awake and playing Gemcraft I might still putz through a 50% loss rate, so this is a great experience; I feel alert, ready to strategize, in the zone.
Aftereffects and summary
Now it’s 11:20 and I’ve just finished writing this entire article from notes. It’s likely I’m just motivated from having something to write about, but if Gamer Grub is helping me accomplish this at this late hour, I sure feel grateful.
After my session, I still have half a bag left. I’ll be looking forward to having some more soon, and trying out the other flavors. I really was worried that Gamer Grub would be some nasty low-rent gimmick food, but it’s been a pleasure to be proven wrong.
Affiliate disclosure: Lionel Houde reviewed Gamers Grub on his own, and paid for the bag. This page does contain affiliate links that will pay a small commission per purchase, but no other relationship exists between the product maker and the writer.
Gamer Grub: S’mores At A Glance
- Easy to eat and digest in the middle of a frenzied game
- A nice mix of flavors
- Not hyper-sugary
- Chocolatey chocolate
- Resealable bag seal is Fort Knoxy
- Powdered cocoa "chocolate" may offend choco-snobs
- May want to buy in bulk and save
UPDATE: Friends Try Pizza & PB&J
i’m glad to say that some true gamer friends, Jeremy and Tyler, were kind enough to test out Gamer Grub PB&J and Pizza Snacks. Says Jeremy:
"The Pizza one was okay. But it was a lot like flavored Chex Mix. But the peanut butter and jelly one… oh man. We were just scarfing that stuff down. It was like, ‘om nom nom’ till it was gone."